Cloudy With A Chance of Prisoners and Riddick in the Battle Of The Year (A September 2013 movie preview)

Jake-Gyllenhaal-in-Prisoners-2013-Movie-Poster

By Eriq Rivera

September is next and that means no more fierce big screen action like we’re used to right? Well, maybe as some guys (Vin Diesel) will try to keep you entertained as head off to the movie theaters (laptop).

Sept. 6

Vin Diesel tries to prove to you that he’s not just a car driver in his new film Riddick. The movie is about Riddick (Vin Diesel) trying to fight against an alien race who are murderous as hell. Hey Vinny, why don’t you just challenge them in a turbo car race, bet they don’t know how to drive cars.

Sept. 13

If you didn’t get tired of Insidious well then get ready for Insidious again with Insidious: Chapter 2. The poor Lambert family continues to be haunted (or crazy).

The Family will consist of legends such as Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer and Tommy Lee Jones. Hmm, just put De Niro and “THE family” what kind of movie do you think it’s going to be? Did you guess something about people with the last name “Gaylord’? Well, you’re fortunately wrong. The movie is a mob movie!

Sept. 20

Think documentaries about crappy pop bands are the only ones ruining the big screen? Well I’ll tell you now that, they are not the only ones ruining movies. Dance competition movies are also crap, and Battle of the Year will do its best to continue that terrible legacy.

Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal star in Prisoners. The movie is about a man kidnapping another man (ew gay) for thinking the man is behind the disappearance of his daughter (awww never mind).

It is time for you to watch more race movies. Rush is a biopic about Niki Lauda an Australia Formula 1 champion who almost lost his life in a 1976 crash. The film stars Chris Hemsworth and is directed by Ron Howard.

Sept. 27

Joseph Gordon-Levitt directs a movie. He also stars in a movie called Don Jon, a movie about the average Joe. A porn watcher who also devotes his life to his family, his church, and his friends. Oh yeah, and Scarlett Johansson stars in this movie as well.

Would you like more meatballs on your clouds? No? Too bad, you’re getting in in Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs Part 2 and it’s about the second part to the first movie,

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