Hercules to Deliver Us From Evil against the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (A July 2014 films preview)

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is set to be released July. 11.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is set to be released July. 11.

By Eriq Rivera

Summer is here and so are apes, and demons and the presence of a true Greek God. Now let’s see what June has in theatres for us.

July 2.

What if the Unite States never ever existed? How will the world be like? Well, America is a documentary that plays out a scenario in which the U.S. lost the Revolutionary War therefore making US not exist. It is directed by Dinesh D’Souza and John Sullivan.

Former Hulk Eric Bana stars in a new movie about demonic possession in Deliver Us From Evil. Bana plays a New York police officer who investigates a series of crimes based on demons.

Earth to Echo is a film about a group of kids who go on a journey to save an alien somehow.

Melissa McCarthy plays Tammy in the new comedy Tammy. Susan Sarandon, Dan Aykroyd and Kathy Bates join McCarthy in a movie about a woman who not only jose her job but also discovered that her husband has been unfaithful so she embarks in a road trip with her wacky, alcoholic mother.

July 11.

Hey look, Michael Douglas in a comedy drama! And So It Goes stars two Oscar winners in Douglas and Diane Keaton. Douglas plays a goody-too-good realtor who is left in charged of his granddaughter he never knew existed while his estranged son drops her off (irresponsible).

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. Need I say more? Probably. Human survivors left and already have their lives threatened as the army of apes lead by Ceasar is set to make war with them.

Gabriel Iglesias makes a comedy concert named The Fluffy MovieA lot of the film is based on the rise of the comedian.

July 18.

Planes: Fire & Rescue is Disney’s new animated film, what’s it about? Airplanes! You know, kinda like Cars is about cars, Toy Story is about toys, Monsters Inc. is about monsters and Frozen is about….Freezing?

The sequel to last year’s The Purge will be out on this date. The Purge: Anarchy will not involve Ethan Hawke this time but will include Frank Grillo…waiting for the cheers….no? Ok then. Well this film will be about a young couple who had they’re car stuck in the peak of the purge hours. Talk about a bad car day.

Cameron Diaz stars in Sex Tape. Doesn’t that already sound great? Sorry to burst your bubble but unfortunately it’s not what you think. Diaz plays Jason Segel’s wife, whom he made a sex tape with but can’t find it on the next night leading them look all over for it.

July. 25

The Rock stars as the character he was “born to play” Hercules. Hercules is set out to take down a tyrannical warlord.

Lucy stars Scarlett Johansson. Not sure if Johansson was born to play this role but she co-stars with Morgan Freeman. Lucy is a woman who turns into a badass warrior beyond human mind.

Yikes…talk about saving the worse for last. We have a god damn new Step Up movie in Step Up: All In. Fuck this shit.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s